How to start the pay rise conversation

The first question many people ask themselves when thinking about requesting a pay rise is "how do I start?".

I understand, because the opening is the moment that creates the most anxiety. Yet it carries enormous weight: the way the conversation opens determines its effectiveness.

Here are a few examples of how NOT to start:

• “Sorry to bring this up…”
• “I'm not sure this is the right time…”
• “I know things aren't easy right now, but…”

These all sound polite, but before you even reach the request they have already diverted your listener's attention and downgraded the importance of what you're saying to zero. In practice, you are shrinking your request before you've even made it.

Why does this happen? Because these are muddled, eyes-down formulations, probably driven by embarrassment, fear or nerves. I won't dig into what hides behind them: let's stay on strategy and practice.

Here are 3 openings with different styles and examples you can apply right away:

1. Direct opening on role and pay

“I'd like to discuss the evolution of my role and a review of my compensation.”

It's simple, professional and lets the other person immediately understand what the conversation is about.

2. Opening for a changed role

“Over the past few months my role has changed significantly, and I'd like to review with you the responsibilities I'm handling today and look together at a realignment on the economic side too.”

This opening is particularly useful when the core issue is that you're already doing a different job from the one you were hired or paid for, for example after a change in responsibilities.

3. Opening from results feedback

“When do you have a moment to look together at my recent progress and give me your perspective?”

Here the focus is on the results achieved, and the conversation starts from a request for alignment and feedback that will evolve during the meeting.

Then remember: whichever opening you've chosen, stop there. You've stated the request, don't immediately add ten more sentences to justify yourself. Let the other person respond.

Opening a conversation well doesn't mean having the magic formula that will make your boss say yes. It means stating clearly what you want and staying solid enough to truly listen to the answer.

That's where the negotiation begins.